I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
