in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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