Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
