We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
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I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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