Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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