i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
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