It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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