what day is it and did you see me today?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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