Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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