i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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