Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
