I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
be right there i have to get my cape
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
