party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize