You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
