This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
