There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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