if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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