Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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