Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
