It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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