I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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