I wish my penis had an off switch
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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