I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
