im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
