I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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