He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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