All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
