Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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