I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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