That's intense
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
