Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize