Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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