i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
