I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize