there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
