too bad you live with your parents still
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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