did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
