I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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