Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize