we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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