Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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