the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
