then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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