The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
