It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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