I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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