the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
