I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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