bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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