Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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