What did we do last night that was yellow?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
