i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The air taste purple.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
