What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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