make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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