Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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