i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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