we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
a search helicopter?!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
