dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize