it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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